I met up with Elric and Carmen yesterday at Aeon
Elric's comments on my real-life look:
-still small
-mature look
-don't look bad
-very grown up
-no guts in a lot of things
-not lanc enough
-not naughty enough

My reply here:
I will have a lot to say about this later... I have told him via sms about the problem I got into recently... I told him to keep a secret but I think it's okay to reveal here. After all it's not really getting worse till I can be declared as a mental illness patient.

To this, I will explain later... It has something to do with the shy thing and the problem...

-still small
I dunno what does this mean... I looked like a small kid? My boobs are small? Ass small? Eyes small? Lips small? LOL. But if he meant I looked like a small kid... Read on...

-mature look
So I didn't look like a small kid to him... I know I look mature la, I went into the casino at Genting a couple of times... And the police only checked me once... Dun care if you guys wanna say mature look = lao shui... I like it :D

For your info, I am 168 cm, haven't reached my target which is 170. Please pray hard for me.

My head is big? If he meant my thighs or legs, I will kill him...

-don't look bad
Tattoo? No. Piercings: Ears nia. Hair: Plain black. Fingernails: Not polished. Clothes: Plain T and jeans.

-very grown up
Thank you. I like this so much.

-no guts in a lot of things
What he meant is I didn't really dare to talk to him as if he would eat me up. Allaaaa, you didn't dare to talk to us too and your voice was even softer then me... But I will explain this with the shy and diam prob...

-not lanc enough
You dunno me...

-not naughty enough
Maybe. I'm loud most of the time but I'm actually a serious person. (Who wanna boo or shoot me?)

Finally, the problem I mentioned earlier
Which is also the problem I asked Elric to kept it as a secret
You all know I make up
And some even know Y has never seen me without BB cream
(That means the most nude face I have shown him is me with BB cream on)
Some of them don't like me to make up, I'm not going to point out who are them
I know they don't mind but it's me who can't overcome myself
I know with BB cream and glasses, people can still see my weaknesses
-my awful acne scars and small eyes
I swore and swear
When I have enough money, I will fill my closet with contact lens, fake lashes, base, foundation, loose powder, blush etc etc etc etc etc etc etc
Cosmetics are used to enhance our looks, not to cover up
But I'm exactly using them to cover up my weaknesses
I can't bear to let people see them
I will do anything to cover all of them
I was shy, I was quiet, I was like a coward to Elric
Because I don't look people in the eyes so they won't look at me
I don't talk much so they won't look at me
I don't want people to look at me, I don't like it
And in the end, I appear to be shy, quiet and a coward
I buy endless cosmetics, clothes, accessories, shoes, bags, almost everything to boost my self-confidence
Does it help?
When I take them off, my confidence is gone at the same time
I used to eat a lot, everybody knows
This is how I eat nowadays...
Rice, noodles, bread, cakes = carbohydrate, they make people fat
Dishes = vege and meat, they don't make people fat
Fast food = not tasty + unhealty + make people fat
Oily food and soft drinks = OUT
I eat a little rice with a lot of vege and meat, no tea time, and NO SUPPER
And I know the portion of rice that I take is quite small
But I still think it's not small enough, I dunno why
People said that I'm thin but look at my calves, thighs and belly
They are NOT thin
I even stopped drinking my favourite milk because I read an article recently which said that animals' milk contain subtances which can't be digested by human and however LOW FAT they are, they are still FATTENING
No sitting down after eating, no sleeping after eating, no drinking water after eating
No this and that
Another thing, I'm getting more and more afraid of sunlight
I cover my legs with anything I can find when I am in the car
I apply whitening body lotion every twice a day
I avoid going under the sun
I want fair skin because in chinese, we used to say “一白遮三丑”

Is it okay to behave like this?


3 条评论:

xiaocai0612 说...

i more likes natural of u..^^
but wat ever hw..
i oso support ur decision ^^

soulofknight 说...

hello raven. :) Long time no see. I haven been visiting your blog for quite some time, because my mother don let me online. so sry.

By the way, you meet with HYY? :P

HYY got as irritating as he is on msn?

You, HYY and Joey can meet each other easily. But if you all want to meet me, it would be quite impossible, because I do not live in your country. :(

鸟王·Raven 说...

But I don't like lol
Thanks ^^

Hey :)
Wow how did your mother manage to stop you, I wonder
You used to curi online in the midnight
Yup I met Elric
Nah he wasn't
Actually it will be very easy for us to meet you too
A passport + bus ticket = Hullo Ron
Lol :)